Nocturnal

I’m so fucking happy. I have the greatest girl in the entire world. I couldn’t of asked for a better girlfriend. I love you Rochelle Lynn Tanton! :)

I’ve been feeling quite well lately, but it seems as if it may be short lived. The 22nd marks the death of Katrina, my last girlfriend. I’ve come to terms with her death long ago, and after a year I’ve finally found someone else who make me just as happy, if not happier, but there’s so much holding us back, and it’s beginning to get to me, everything just seems to keep adding up, one thing after another and I just feel like breaking down. I wish everything would just be okay, but outside influences prevent that from happening. I never thought I could love a girl as much as I do now, and I never thought I’d ever achieve true happiness again, but I’m afraid of losing it all again. It always seems whenever something is gong right for once some force must prevent it from staying that way. I’ve never had a good Valentine’s day or a good winter for that matter, and I finally thought that maybe it would be different this year, and at this very moment I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. I just wish she could let go and just focus on our relationship, but as long as he’s around it seems like it could never happen. It’s funny how someone could ruin something so beautiful so easily. Maybe I don’t deserve true happiness, or maybe I just over analyze everything, but either way, I cannot control this situation or make things work out the way I want them. The best thing I can do is hope, and I hope that this will all work out in the end. I don’t think I can take another loss like this, not now..